Serendipity in the form of a Weird Guy Text

I "sermonized" about how to be a kitten among chicks on Friday, but a life lesson on Saturday really rammed that point home.

I was getting ready for the grocery-run-lunch-with-The-Sister-safari-for-The-Kiddo's-swimsuit on Saturday morning. The Kiddo asked me if it were all right to call The Sister to inquire about hot tub privileges. I said sure.

A moment or so later, The Kiddo came wandering in, my cell phone in hand. "Mommy, some weirdo guy wants you to be his girlfriend," she said, giggling.

That yanked me away from the process of making me presentable for public viewing. "What?!" I asked.

"Yeah, he texted you."

And then she began to read.

Hi! Im a guy randomly txtn numbers lookn 4 a kewl gurl. I Got ur number randomly so we prolly dnt kno each other. If ur a gurl thats interestd txt me bk with ur age and name. If nt im sori 4 bothern u. Thanx

OK, that was disturbing on so many levels. Was the guy a pedophile, looking to snare young, innocent girls? Was he a weirdo scam artist that made a hundred bucks a text when you replied? Or was he just some socially inept guy who actually thought randomly texting girls was the way to get him a girlfriend?

I couldn't help but think of the really weird phone calls and queries that agents and editors get. I'll bet they have similar reactions to the one I had. And I'll bet every one of those queriers thought the letter or phone call was perfectly within the bounds.

The old saying is true: you never get a second chance to make a first impression. So whether it's an agent or an editor, really think, "How could this query/phone call/showing up and throwing pebbles at their office window be perceived?"

I haven't yet decided what to do about the Weirdo Text Guy. The Kiddo wanted me to send him back a text that said unequivocally, "I cant be ur kewl gurl b/c u cant spell and Im married."

Me? I'm still thinking that if I replied, I'd get a bill for a hundred bucks for the privilege of telling Weirdo Text Guy to get lost.