Paroxysms of Paranoia

Okay, so I get the good news about my book on Friday. I should be deliriously happy, right? Floating on air?

But for the longest time, a lead balloon kept me tethered to the ground. I kept thinking ... What if you got the release date wrong? Wouldn't that be soo embarrassing?

I looked at those notes I scribbled during The Call a million times. Each time I looked, the ink had not changed. It still said, in blue ballpoint, April 2007.

Had to be a mistake. I have writer friends who have been waiting and waiting and waiting for a slot. So it must have been my wishful thinking or complete delusion or auditory hallucinations.

And ... ahem, if I got that wrong, what if I'd gotten the whole deal wrong?

I was ordered by more than one critique partner to get hold of myself and calm down. So, I screwed up my courage and I e-mailed my editor, and I asked the stupid question.

Luckily my editor knows a few things about the phenomenon of Book Brain. She was hugely gracious about it. Yup, the book is to be released in April of 2007. I even have my number! Wow! No official title yet, but that will come.

My dh is learning a few things about Book Brain, too. I attribute, gratefully, to a whole host of my shortcomings here lately to Book Brain: forgetting to register my five-year-old for her ballet class; forgetting to buy milk when we were down to droplets; forgetting to double-check my day-job's pay stub to see if there were any errors on my direct deposit. He's pretty accommodating now, but I have a feeling he's thinking the same things my critique partners have told me.

Get hold of yourself and calm down!